Ok, well first things first – what have I been playing? As it turns out, I have never heard of RimWorld and Prison Architect. How did I completely miss these amazing resource management/architect/survival games I will never know – but yes.
RimWorld. All I can say is GET ON IT.
I discovered the game by watching through a bunch of quill18 let’s play videos, and stumbled across this little gem.
So the concept is that you are 3 little guys that have crash landed on the surface of a planet, and you need to try to build a functional colony to survive, collect resources and build an escape ship WHILE defending your colony and people from rogue animals, waring neighboring colony’s and natural disasters.
So, I began my little colony with no concept that you were able to “re-choose” you starting people. I thought that what you got was what you got. I started my little base with limited success but soon found out that “Valentina” was a useless bitch.
Olivia was stuck being the sole hunter/bread winner and defender, while Zeppy rolled about casually constructing walls.
I finally had a little battery and power supplying my tiny compound when tragedy struck and a fire started pouring in over the walls. I am pretty confident that Olivia and Zeppy had a pretty good handle on things, when a pirate decided to take advantage of the situation, walked in the door and shot everyone dead.
You had 1 job, Valentina. Watch the flippin’ door. But no, you decided to nap didn’t you? Boo, you whore.
Attempt 2 went somewhat better. Now that I could start again, and try to select some potentially decent friends, I started my base.
Now, I constructed an extra room in case we got a new friend willing to join us, or a pirate we captured and swayed to our side.
Sadly, the pirate I captured, was Porcene. Porcene had suffered a gun shot wound to the head at some point and as a result permanently moves at 50% speed, and tends to spend her days moving my “stuff” from one pile to another. Great.
Maybe I could sell her to the exotic goods traders for parts? Turns out, they deal in body parts.
Don’t worry, Porcene. We still love you. Even if you did just move all my steel to the other side of the fence.
Prison Architect is also very good, although – I’m not finding it as fun as I find RimWorld. The concept of this game is to build a prison that can successfully house “x” number of prisoners.
That number of prisoners is influenced by what kind of prisoners you are willing to take in (if any), such as low security prisoners come in larger numbers than high etc etc.
One of the things I love about alpha indie games, is their “incentives” to purchase their games. PA offered people the opportunity to “write” a prisoner profile. So you often encounter some award winning dudes.
“The Fatness”. Sounds terrifying.
I did notice, that a number of my friends that had been playing for a while were totally unawares of the new intro offered to learning how to play the game.
I began my adventure, being told the story of a prisoner on deaths row – for which I was tasked to build an electric chair to execute. 
What was his crime? You may ask. WELL, let me tell you – the game does not leave you hanging and gives you his entire confession by way of pixel acting and some weird-o polaroids.
Turns out, dudes wife was cheating on him so he shot her and her lover in his home.
What I would like to know, is what happened to the existence of his wife’s right leg…or was she an amputee?
Also, dude, that guy is obviously a unich. You got nothing to worry about. 
I last left the game at this point. I have some happy little prisoners in cells, one peeved because he’s still stuck in the holding area napping on a bench and a shower that insists on over-flowing every. damned. time.
Well, hope to talk to you all soon! I have been recording some amateur Let’s Play videos and posting those on YouTube, but due to the fact that my microphone is now permanently busted I can’t do anymore of them at the moment until a replacement is sourced.
Will post a link here if I happen to record anything particularly interesting though.
Love you all! And a miniatures update is coming shortly! I got some new loots. Woo woo.
~ Sincerely, Ellie
P.S Have a fantastic New Years everyone!
Cappuccino Gaming 