So, you wanna be the master of…Malifaux?

Do you have the skills to be…..come a bro?

I wanna beeee the veeeery best, that no one ever waaaas.

Sorry folks. It’s been a Pokemon kind of day

So, recently, I have been playing a bit of the Pokemon Trading Card Game Online and actually thoroughly enjoying it. To be fair, I do not versus other players – I just use the stock standard trainer decks it gives you and battle the occasional NPC.

This got me in the mood for buying packs, something I find highly additive, exciting and often soul crushing.

ANYWAY, I get home with my little foil sealed packets of potential devastation and find this:

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So on the left is my “bonus foil” and on the right is my “1 x rare”. They were actually the same card. What are the odds, ey??

Apparently pretty damned high. This has now happened to me a good 5-7 times. What is the go? Is it because the set has so few cards in it!? Or do I have magical pack-picker talons on me?

This got me in a nostalgic mood for checking out some of my older collection..

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I miss the days where “foil” actually meant, do not expose to direct sunlight as you might burn a hole in the ozone with the reflection bouncing off of that bad-boy.

While I was digging these out of their super-secret-hidey-space I found a bunch of clippings I’d put into a folder with my cards.

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Wow, $109.90!? Are you dicking with me? Should probs be nicer to the parents, the struggle to afford to raise a nerdy child was real.

Moving right along…I have been continuing to paint my Seamus Malifaux ladies – although, one of my hookers in tights appears to have gone missing. I cannot tell you, how devastating that is to me, to own a “set” that is not in fact “complete”. Like for MULTIPLE reasons, this is heavily upsetting. But we soldier on.

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Wanna see me twerk it to Katy Perry’s – This is how we do?

So, unfortunately, I didn’t know that the angle I was on was casting such an orange hue over my photo – but we work with what we’ve got. The back of her dress is getting some highlighting and her skin is undergoing a little correcting time.

I actually dropped the whole mini in my drive way, skinning the paint off of her face, knees and the front of her dress directly after painting this.

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Yooooou dropped me!? ME? Have you seen me? I’m amazing. I don’t know if we can hang out anymore, Ellie.

I tried my best to fix her back up, but she undeniably now had some uneven textures and variations in colour. Ah well, if anyone asks I’ll say she’s growing lumps.

Well, as per always, great chats! We should do this again soon.

~ El

Painting, Paining and Clock Work Gaming!

Hello lovely people!

Recently, I traveled to Geelong (Australia) for the Clock Work Dragon event.
This was a Warmachine Tournament charity event for raising food for the homeless.

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Wait! One of these guys is a slow walker.

Although I wasn’t competing in this event – I was volunteering and running around being an all general pest with my phone camera.

The event was 3 rounds (35pt) of 6 competing teams of 5.

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During the lunch intermission, everyone signed their name in front of their army (or specific model) and left for lunch allowing for painting judging to proceed.

It was AMAZING to see some of the things people had painted.8 9
The names of the painters have been cropped out as I don’t want to be posting people’s names – but how awesome are these!? I love seeing other peoples beautiful work.

In the end, the event raised over 4000 cans of food for the homeless!!

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Awesome effort from everyone! And now my upper arms know the meaning of paint when it came time to moving that from the room to the various charity cars.

AAAANY how, in Ellie land, I have been getting back into painting! I finally have some free time after settling into my new office and my new role at work.

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Hello, I will be your waitress for this evening. Do you prefer to be roasted? Or fried?

Her skin did NOT come out at all how I intended. My idea was to give her a kind of purple hue to make her look a bit pasty and dead. Instead, I just ended up making her look actually skin toned.
Ugh – ah well.

Oh oh oh, my other news! Everyone, gird your loins.
PAX 2015 is upon us.

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Well – love you all! See you again next time for another ‘Things I have been doing, without any coherent style of commentary’.

~Ellison

My Sky has a Rim on it

When The Elder Scrolls Skyrim came out, I was wholly obsessed with it.  To the point, that I got tired of missing out on all the pretty texture packs of the PC users (as I was playing on PS3 at the time) and literally went out and built a computer JUST for Skyrim.

After all this time – it would appear I am obsessed again. Hahaha.

Onto the adventures!!

I started myself a new Warhammer wielding bringer of death, collected my Lydia (aka. Chlamydia) and took on the world.

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Hey Chlamydia, go easy on the contouring ey? You look like you have a 5 o’clock shadow… I mean heeeey gurl, looking on fleak today!

So Lydia and I start stomping around the country side. First priority, is to visit every city so that I have a fast travel point for near by questing.

Stopped by Markath to solve some murders and buy some goods.

2I reaaaallly have to question  what that meat he’s holding is. Because when you’re just a torso trying to sell me large chunks of mystery flesh – I start to ponder being a vegetarian.

Now, one of the other things I’ve been doing is trying to get the 15 Daedric Artifacts. These tend to be fairly high in stats and look a bit fancy, so I picked myself up the Savior’s Hide. Now, this was the most powerful piece of Armour I had at the time so I was of course wearing it.

While this armour looks a bit skankeriffic in general, I wasn’t fully aware of HOW skanky it was until I got a kill cam on a Dragon.

I can imagine what the towns people are saying while I defend their city from the flying lizards.

3Look friends! It’s the great Dovakin here to save us from the…oh my! Kids, cover your eyes.

The second Daedric Artifact I got was ALSO a piece of armor. While it may not be as revealing as the first, I’m pretty sure my epic mustache mask has it’s own level of seduction.

4New from Victoria’s Secret – the Mustache Night-Mask. Now only $499.00.

While Chlamyd’s and I were dungeoneering, I found this odd shaped ball. Figured that it would look nice at home on the mantle to shoot sparks at and pretend we’re having he worlds most ancient disco when suddenly a voice emanates from it asking me to return it to it’s rightful place.

As I am not in the business of robbing others of their party goods, I promptly followed the instructions and went to find the shindig to ask if we were invited and could my trusty follower come as a +1?

When I arrived, it turned out that the voice was coming from some sort of statue in the middle of who-knows-where.

5Have you considered Tindr? Your love can reach a radius pre-determined in the settings.

I stepped up, as I’m not one to judge the race of others, far be it for me to tell a statue they can’t hook up and party, and placed the disco ball into the nook at the bottom when suddenly I get launched into the air.

6Ok lady, calm your various light beams, and put me back on the ground. I’m not into your weird sky events.

Meridia, who turned out to be the god of infinite energy asked me to go turn on the lights for the party in her old temple.
Lydia was a fan of the idea despite telling me 18 bloody times “I don’t like the look of this”, but then again, she might of been catching her reflection in the pool of blood on the floor.

I flick all these reflective balls on, and the temple starts to light up – which is far more the party I was hoping for.

7You’ll be coming home with me tooooniiiiiight, and we’ll be burning up like neeeeon liiiiiights

So cool, the lights are on. I go to leave the temple and let Meridia know she’s ok to start letting the guest know that they can start arriving when this AWFUL, and I mean AWFUL dude leaps out and starts shooting me with ice shards.

Normally, I’m ok with someone gettin’ all mad that there is a party happening in their house and they weren’t invited – because that’s just rude, but this guy just kept at it.

Wouldn’t listen to reason so had to give him a beat down and let him know that it was not ok to just start shooting at people when suddenly, he changes into his party gear.

8On second thoughts Meridia, I don’t think I like your friends. We might give the party a miss.

After putting down the scary bro at the end of the temple, Lyds and I head back to let Meridia know what happened, and show her this cool sword we picked up when suddenly she get’s all cult on me and asks if I want to preach her religion of Tindr fans and party goers.

9Sorry but, there is no other word appropriate here except a really loud NOPE.

Well, that is the end of the adventures for the time being.

Tune in next week for another episode of Skanks with Swords.

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Pixel Life and Video Games

Ok, well first things first – what have I been playing? As it turns out, I have never heard of RimWorld and Prison Architect. How did I completely miss these amazing resource management/architect/survival games I will never know – but yes.

RimWorld. All I can say is GET ON IT.
I discovered the game by watching through a bunch of quill18 let’s play videos, and stumbled across this little gem.

So the concept is that you are 3 little guys that have crash landed on the surface of a planet, and you need to try to build a functional colony to survive, collect resources and build an escape ship WHILE defending your colony and people from rogue animals, waring neighboring colony’s and natural disasters.

So, I began my little colony with no concept that you were able to “re-choose” you starting people. I thought that what you got was what you got. I started my little base with limited success but soon found out that “Valentina” was a useless bitch.

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Olivia was stuck being the sole hunter/bread winner and defender, while Zeppy rolled about casually constructing walls.

I finally had a little battery and power supplying my tiny compound when tragedy struck and a fire started pouring in over the walls. I am pretty confident that Olivia and Zeppy had a pretty good handle on things, when a pirate decided to take advantage of the situation, walked in the door and shot everyone dead.

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You had 1 job, Valentina. Watch the flippin’ door. But no, you decided to nap didn’t you? Boo, you whore.

Attempt 2 went somewhat better. Now that I could start again, and try to select some potentially decent friends, I started my base.

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Now, I constructed an extra room in case we got a new friend willing to join us, or a pirate we captured and swayed to our side.

Sadly, the pirate I captured, was Porcene. Porcene had suffered a gun shot wound to the head at some point and as a result permanently moves at 50% speed, and tends to spend her days moving my “stuff” from one pile to another. Great.

Maybe I could sell her to the exotic goods traders for parts? Turns out, they deal in body parts.

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Don’t worry, Porcene. We still love you. Even if you did just move all my steel to the other side of the fence.

Prison Architect is also very good, although – I’m not finding it as fun as I find RimWorld. The concept of this game is to build a prison that can successfully house “x” number of prisoners.
That number of prisoners is influenced by what kind of prisoners you are willing to take in (if any), such as low security prisoners come in larger numbers than high etc etc.

One of the things I love about alpha indie games, is their “incentives” to purchase their games. PA offered people the opportunity to “write” a prisoner profile. So you often encounter some award winning dudes.

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“The Fatness”. Sounds terrifying.

I did notice, that a number of my friends that had been playing for a while were totally unawares of the new intro offered to learning how to play the game.

I began my adventure, being told the story of a prisoner on deaths row – for which I was tasked to build an electric chair to execute. 7

What was his crime? You may ask. WELL, let me tell you – the game does not leave you hanging and gives you his entire confession by way of pixel acting and some weird-o polaroids.

Turns out, dudes wife was cheating on him so he shot her and her lover in his home.

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What I would like to know, is what happened to the existence of his wife’s right leg…or was she an amputee?
Also, dude, that guy is obviously a unich. You got nothing to worry about. 10

I last left the game at this point. I have some happy little prisoners in cells, one peeved because he’s still stuck in the holding area napping on a bench and a shower that insists on over-flowing every. damned. time.

Well, hope to talk to you all soon! I have been recording some amateur Let’s Play videos and posting those on YouTube, but due to the fact that my microphone is now permanently busted I can’t do anymore of them at the moment until a replacement is sourced.
Will post a link here if I happen to record anything particularly interesting though.

Love you all! And a miniatures update is coming shortly! I got some new loots. Woo woo.

~ Sincerely, Ellie

P.S Have a fantastic New Years everyone!